40 lines
1.6 KiB
Markdown
40 lines
1.6 KiB
Markdown
# Death to Object Storage: A Love Letter to Flat Files
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Once upon a time, I believed in MinIO.
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I really did. The idea was beautiful: S3-compatible object storage, self-hosted, redundant, robust — all those wonderful buzzwords they slap on the side of a Docker image and call “enterprise.” I bought into it. I built around it. I dreamed in buckets.
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And then, reality set in.
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What reality, you ask?
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- Media uploads timing out.
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- Phantom 403s from ghosts of CORS configs past.
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- Uploader works on Tuesday, breaks on Wednesday.
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- “Why are all the thumbnails gone?”
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- “Why does the backup contain *literally nothing*?”
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MinIO became that coworker who talks a big game but never shows up to help move the server rack. Sure, he says he's “highly available” — but when you need him? Boom. 503.
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So I did what any burned-out, overcaffeinated sysadmin would do. I tore it all down.
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Flat files. ZFS. Snapshots. The old gods.
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Now my media lives on Shredder. It’s fast. It’s simple. It scrubs itself weekly and never lies to me. Want to know if something's backed up? I check with my own eyes — not by playing 20 questions with a broken object path and a timestamp from the Nixon administration.
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I don’t have to `mc alias` anything.
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I don’t need to care about ACLs.
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I don’t need to learn how to spell “presigned URLs” ever again.
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It. Just. Works.
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So, farewell MinIO. You tried. You failed. You’re off my network.
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Long live `chmod -R`, long live ZFS, and long live sysadmins who know when to throw the whole stack in the trash and start over.
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---
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📌 PS: If you’re still on object storage for your Mastodon instance… I’m sorry. I really am.
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